March 14, 2013

 

 

We once came down Prettywood Hill,

with our parents in their Morris Eight,

when a tyre rolled by in front of us,

making us brake to keep the car straight.

 

‘Some poor bugger’s lost a tyre’, Dad said,

as our car swerved this way and that,

before suddenly tipping up on one side, 

when in a ‘three wheeler’, we knew we were sat!

 

 

 

March 6, 2013

 

 

Mother’s Day comes around so fast,

reminding us all, it’s time

to get in touch and say ’Hello’ and

send a card with a suitable rhyme.

 

If only Mum knew how busy I am?

The computers crashed today, and

I had to work through my lunch break

as the year-end is up in May.

 

I pulled in at the ‘Services’,

to get some petrol and grab a card,

but the verses were all too sloppy

and I really looked ever so hard.

 

Just as I was giving up

I spotted one with a dog that would fit,

though the words inside were negligible.

She’d say that my partner had chosen it!

 

But I had to get it anyway,

as it was a last minute bid!

It was too late for choc’s and flowers

so I put in twenty quid.

 

I dashed out to the post van,

that from nowhere had appeared.

‘This card can’t go in here’ said the man

as we both now, at it peered.

 

‘It needs a first class stamp on it,

if you want it to get there on time’

I swear for just a second, I was

nearly hung for committing a crime.

 

‘But seeing as how it’s for Mother’s Day,

if you give me the value of the stamp,

I’ll see as it’s put in the sack with the rest

when I get back to camp’.

 

 

 

 

He needed her now he was stuck in his chair,

with only his zimmer to go anywhere –

Well about time too.

 

He wanted her now he was so house-bound,

with only Jack and Billy coming around –

Well about time too.

 

He loved her now that the others were dead,

and she was the only one left in his bed –

Well about time too.

 

He knew why now she felt bitter and twisted,

When to that damned club he had enlisted.–

Well about time too.

 

Halleluiah

 

 

February 24, 2013

 

 

The strongest won’t sustain his strength.

The wildest, will in time, mellow.

The self obsessive will be made to share,

and the loud mouth, no longer bellow.

 

The nit picker will drive himself bonkers.

The squabbler will lose his objective mind.

The one with the fierce, competitive streak,

will become last, off the starting line.

 

The hunter will find himself incarcerated.

The rambler will lose all sense of direction.

The romeo will become a father, and wish

to God, he had used some protection.

 

 

 

February 17, 2013

 

 

When one half of a pair

is in despair,

the other half steps in

to fix the repair.

 

When one half of a pair

is no longer there,

the other half rests easier

in the knowledge they care.

 

 

February 10, 2013

 

 

Fairy footsteps gaily dancing

along the cobble stones.

Games of hopscotch, long forgotten,

now just tired bones.

 

 

 

 

Unable to sleep, she became

increasingly restless and lay

thinking about the beautiful

Pekinese dog she had seen

that day.

He had the most fabulously long,

slinky coat, and she recalled

seeing him do a whoopsie against

a wooden beam outside the theatre,

and then happily swagger off with his

mistress as his silky fur mopped up

all the mess.

Her thoughts then went back to her

childhood, when her auntie used

to keep Pekinese dogs. They seemed

to spend all their life stood on the

draining board of the bake-house sink,

having their bottoms washed!

She remembered asking her mother

why her auntie used to wash her dogs

in the sink and her mother had replied,

‘because she’s a mad bugger’.

 

 

 

 

‘It was nice to see you all

on Sunday.

It was good of you to travel

across to see us when you spend

all week on the roads as it is.

We understand that, and are

grateful to you for taking us out

for that expensive lunch, but quite

honestly we would have been far

happier if you’d mowed our lawns

and done some odd jobs around

the house that we now find too

difficult to tackle.

I know you’ve said you’ll pay if we

get a gardener or odd job man, but

we like to be private and keep

ourselves to ourselves.

I hope you don’t mind me saying

this? Your Mother says I should

keep my big mouth shut and just

be glad you come at all.

I have to say that it’s silly for you

to waste all that money on food

we can’t eat though. They put so

much on your plate these days and

we’re not used to all that fancy food

anyway. We would much rather eat

home-made shepherds pie and trifle;

proper food, like you were all

brought up on’ .……….

 

 

January 28, 2013

 

 

 

 

She loved the warmth of his embrace, and

the heat they created between the sheets.

But the chilblains she got from that hot

water bottle, had her in agony for weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For now, they are a pair.

They care, they share,

but are aware, that someday

they’ll say, they were!

 

 

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