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November 6, 2012
There’s a spare one under the mat
just by the rear door,
and another behind the bench
on the greenhouse floor.
There’s one hidden in a plastic bag
pressed into the old hydrangea.
Some worry about my security,
but I don’t think I’m in danger.
There’s one held across the road
by a very friendly neighbour,
and one held by the milkman
who sort of has it as a favour.
There’s one kept by the Vicar
in case I’m locked out after church,
and my brother also has one
in case he’s ever in the lurch.
There’s one hooked above the cat-flap
inside the utility door,
and the gardener has a duplicate, inside
a bag of fertilizer called ‘Growmore’.
Under a shammy, in a bucket,
just by the outside tap,
is another for the window cleaner
who’s such a lovely chap.
The one I haven’t mentioned,
is held by him who can’t be named,
who first came round on his pushbike
to flush my drains out, so he claimed!
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