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November 6, 2012



There’s a spare one under the mat

just by the rear door,

and another behind the bench

on the greenhouse floor.


There’s one hidden in a plastic bag

pressed into the old hydrangea.

Some worry about my security,

but I don’t think I’m in danger.


There’s one held across the road

by a very friendly neighbour,

and one held by the milkman

who sort of has it as a favour.


There’s one kept by the Vicar

in case I’m locked out after church,

and my brother also has one 

in case he’s ever in the lurch.


There’s one hooked above the cat-flap

inside the utility door,

and the gardener has a duplicate, inside

a bag of fertilizer called ‘Growmore’.


Under a shammy, in a bucket,

just by the outside tap,

is another for the window cleaner

who’s such a lovely chap.


The one I haven’t mentioned,

is held by him who can’t be named,

who first came round on his pushbike

to flush my drains out, so he claimed!


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