July 31, 2012

 

 

I’m bottom of the pile at our house,
way down on the ‘pecking’ list.
When the ‘soaps’ come on, I take the dog out,
and I’m very rarely missed.

I walk in through the door unnoticed
wanting comfort after a hard days grind.
And pass my wife going to her fitness class
saying ‘There’s beans on toast, do you mind?’

The cat is a source of comfort
and seems able to read my mind.
But then I realise he just wants feeding.
Life can be such a bind!

There’s music screaming from three bedrooms,
and I can’t even get into a loo.
So I clear off to the pub once more
Well really, what else can I do?

‘Has your Dad gone out again?’ my wife asks,
when she eventually comes back in.
But her question is never answered.
She can’t be heard over all the din.

So she settles down to watch a late film,
and I return saying ‘I’m off to bed’
I daren’t try to have a conversation
If I disturbed her, she’d take off my head!

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s on days like today Mother dear,

that we long to see you again.

But alas, all we have are memories,

a mixture of smiles and sorrow and pain.

 

It’s on days like today we remember

the good times and many there were.

When, so complete as a family,

we lived life without a care.

 

It’s on days like today we are grateful,

that through fairness, you kept us as one.

There was no sibling rivalry ever

and that matters so much now you’re gone.

 

It’s on days like today, more than others

we give thanks Mum, in so many ways

For the fine example you set us, and

your encouragement and your praise.

 

It’s on days like today you are with us,

Still around and making us smile.

And so it will be forever, you know

Each and every step of life’s mile

 

 

 

I just can’t seem to get on today,

I just can’t get ahead.

I’m still sorting yesterday’s queries

and promising leads that now seem dead.

 

I just can’t raise my energy level.

My morale, It’s very low.

Where’s that boost of adrenaline gone?

I had it last week, I know.

 

Our monthly figures are way out,

there must be a hidden agenda!

My secretary’s gone on her holiday

and left me a ‘temp’ called Brenda.

 

She doesn’t know how I operate

and she makes really lousy tea.

And she has an annoying giggle,

that is really getting to me.

 

The children are driving my wife mad,

they are on their school holiday.

On top of which my in-laws have come,

and are here for a fortnight’s stay!

 

I think that I’m losing my marbles.

Roll on autumn for goodness sake,

when we all can get back to normality

after the long summer break.

 

 

 

 

What’s the sense in reacting

to a situation you cannot change?

Try to put it behind you,

for in worrying, no hope will you gain

 

 It’s something that cannot be solved,

and it’s here that you’ve got to remain.

So what’s the sense in reacting?

Life is simply a daisy chain

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should we have children?

she asked her aunts

as they all sat together one day,

in the house where there’d

been a near tragedy.

One aunt said, ‘Well love,

look at it this way.

‘If you’ve none to make you laugh,

none will make you cry’.

(Both these aunts were childless,

I have to say)

Then the other one said,

‘Ee, I wouldn’t bother,

‘Look at what’s happened here today’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s going to ask me

if she looks ok.

How do I know?

Because she’s asked me the

same question every day for

nearly thirty years.

Some days she looks a bugger,

but I keep that thought to myself,

and just say ‘Oh, you look fine dear’.

It’s the safest route to take on this

familiar, tightrope walk.

Some days she’ll test me and say

‘But I thought you didn’t like me in red?

Quick as a flash I reply with,

‘Oh, there’s so many shades of red,

but that one’s alright on you’,

whilst at the same time, I find myself

fighting with my sub-conscious,

and biting my tongue to stop from

blurting out ‘Where’s your bloody reindeer?

My worst dread of all is when she walks

back indoors after having been to the

hairdressers. Sometimes she looks like

she’s not even been there, whilst other

times, on days when she’s ‘felt like a change’,

as she puts it, I’ve had to sneak into my office

to cancel Dinners we were due to attend, as

she’s looked like a prize rooster or a runaway

from a travelling circus. Other times I’ve even

feigned sudden stomach ache, or worse, so as

not to be seen out on the street with her, like

last week when she copied our teenagers and

came home with half of her hair coloured black

and the other half white blonde?

I suffer dreadfully with my nerves and I have

ulcers too, but on the whole we are very happy –

honestly, no I mean it, we’re ok together.

I wouldn’t dare say otherwise!

 

 

 

 

 

Out of the mouths of babes

the truth will often fall.

Their simple, logical approach

in a sentence can say it all.

 

We shake our heads

and smile in wonder.

Their solutions

we can’t cast asunder.

 

To them, it’s as easy as A B C –

It’s just a piece of cake!

So let’s listen to what the children say,

after all – what sense they make!

 

 

 

 

July 27, 2012

 

 

We ear yer goin’ overt’hill,

A wek on Sunday, ay but still.

We ope fer yer sake yer don’t see rain,

and that young Jack, he don’t complain!

Ow did ‘is holiday in Portugal go?

Ow was flyin’ – did he let yer know?

Our sen, we plan to go to 429,

next Sunday cumin, if it’s fine…

We’ll squeeze it in, our diary’s full,

yer know fer uzz life’s owt but dull!

More’s the pity, more’s the pain,

That on the lavvy we both now strain!

We’ve matchin piles, now ain’t that cute!

Well it is til pain gets quite acute!

Ear, I must tell thee before I forgeet,

I’m in a poets society, yeh, that’s reet!

Yer don’t avt’ live int’ neighbourhood,

Yer’ve just got t’send in poems a bit good.

Thi like em best wi’ a Lancashire theme.

Prap’s you being overt’hill is a bit extreme!

Tha could bi sen as t’enemy, tha knows!

Tha might av a bit of a Pennines glow!

Yer cannot foo these Lancashire men,

Yer’d bi sen as t’traitor –  now der yer ken?

Yer might av bin born whert red rose grows,

But tha lives whert white rose surrendered tha knows!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hiya, Sweetie, thanks for the note,

as usual, hand delivered!

You took the time to go outside,

when most of England shivered.

 

I got to thinking, that’s it’s been some time

since my poetic mind awoke!

We’ve been running hither and thither,

and inundated with folk.

 

Now that can be a blessing,

as I’m sure you know that’s true!

But in this crazy, madcap world,

there’s no time for what we want to do!

 

Everyone’s so heavily committed,

to trying to make a buck.

But after working flat out,

the rest is down to luck.

 

So at times when we go missing,

or retreat to staying in bed.

It’s simply because we’re knackered,

that word just popped into my head!

 

The luncheon was quite splendid,

and the ladies found you charming.

But when one asked you if you drove,

I did find that alarming.

 

Was she looking for a set of wheels,

to ferry her about?

She doesn’t know you’re 90,

of that, I have no doubt.

 

The speaker was very human

And in good ‘nick’ for his age.

His wife is nineteen years younger,

but to go into that – I’d need another page!

 

 

 

July 26, 2012

 

 

It was his choice to be

remote and unreliable.

He preferred to remain

uncontactable, depriving

the world of his wisdom

and energy.

He felt almost duty bound

to exist in an all encompassing

cocoon of ideology.

His complexity made him all

the more fascinating.

He was master of his artistry.

A deep and passionate thinker.

A beautiful person locked

within his own universe.

 

 

Newer Posts »