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July 24, 2019
I know a girl called Clementine Clements –
A classier lass you have yet to meet.
She thinks that she is sensational,
from her head, right down to her feet.
I am a friend of Clementine Clements.
We have a rapport, that is clear to see.
When her world is filled with displeasure.
She knows she can depend on me.
The other day I saw Clementine Clements,
and knew right away she was full of woe.
Her people had bought her a harness –
the horror of which, was on show.
The indignity she felt was so visible.
The thing looked hideous to the eye!
Her vanity had been challenged.
She knew I agreed – I wanted to cry.
She jumped onto my knee, and said ‘Save me.’
‘I feel such a fool, and have lost all my charm.’
‘How can I strut my stuff in this straight jacket?’
‘I look like I’ve come from a funny farm!’
She told me the harness has got a handle,
so her people can carry her – like a suitcase.
I could tell that she felt suicidal,
just by the sad look on her face.
How to help my pal, Clementine Clements,
had me scratching my head to think.
But I had to come up with something,
as the sight of the harness, made her heart sink.
How can I now march with Clementine Clements,
as we’d both look like total prats,
pounding the streets like gangsters.
All that was missing, would be our baseball hats!
My plan is to buy her a collar.
The best collar there has ever been!
One that will compliment her odd coloured ears,
and have her looking just like the Queen.
For my dear friend Clementine Clements.
Written by Harriet Blackbury
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