January 15, 2014

 

 

Please relieve me of impulsiveness

that gets me into so much mess,

and my forthright opinionated garble,

that causes others so much distress.

 

Please relieve me of smart–arse answers

to questions, not even to me, are addressed,

and of my constant second guessing,

that makes me sound like such a pest.

 

Please relieve me of all irritation

I may cause throughout the day,

by keeping me away from idiots,

who somehow seem to come my way.

 

 

January 12, 2014

 

 

A cat; a crutch

in times of need.

A dog; a walk

when he brings his lead.

A parrot; a copy

of the wife.

A  goldfish; a pal

who gets on with his life.

 

 

 

 

 

To look

To feel

To agonise

To need to cry,

but can’t.

 

To see

To touch

To drawback

To want to love,

but can’t.

 

To turn

To leave

To walk away

To want to apologise,

but can’t.

 

To run

To find strength

To never look back

To yearn to stay,

but can’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Auntie Edna said she had never farted,

as she was far too refined to do that!

But Uncle, who named her ‘the old wind bag’,

wouldn’t risk sitting near, to where she was sat!

 

 

 

 

 

The chance:

The opportunity:

The adrenalin rush,

that can’t be missed.

 

The hour of pleasure

when in the city,

that the body needs,

whilst the rest get pissed.

 

 

 

 

 

When hairs grow rampantly on your big toe,

it’s time to address the status quo.

 

 

 

 

 

Why does the one who shouldn’t,

suddenly become the one who will,

by widening the goalposts to suit the purpose,

for a thrill that momentarily fits the bill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She couldn’t eat that to save her life.

The smell of it made her heave.

She’d force down broccoli and even sprouts,

but fennel she would always leave.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s gone. It’s dead. It is kaput.

In a careless moment it got under my foot.

I heard it crunch, it was half asleep.

But it didn’t suffer, so you mustn’t weep.

 

 

 

 

She has legs as long as one can remember,

and a cracking shape at that.

She is as tall when she is sitting down,

as most ladies are when they are not sat!

 

Yet her legs are always covered up,

in trousers or in denim jeans.

What a waste of natural beauty;

One can only hope sanity intervenes,

 

and she gives the world the benefit

of those amazing ‘god given’ pins,

by wearing more skirts and dresses,

and confines her leg-wear to the bins.

 

 

 

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