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March 29, 2023



She watches every movement

of my hand.

Always alert.

Always in command.


I try to assure her

that my intentions are true.

But she has scars from her past –

a past I never knew.


It is going to take time,

but I’m up for the task.

though some days it feels like

an impossible ask.


Just when I think we are

moving on a bit,

quite out of the nowhere

appears another hissy fit.


Perhaps it’s something horrific,

lodged in her brain,

that returns in a cycle,

again and again.


When the moment is over

she comes and paws my hand.

I keep it quite still,

unsure of what she has planned.


She knows when she’s hurt me,

and is so full of sorrow.

I think she could like me,

if more time we could borrow.


So I avoided eye contact,

by keeping out of her way.

Fingers crossed this new tactic

is beginning to pay.


She has started me-owing

to let me know she is near.

She is watching me intensely.

I pretend not to hear.


She twists herself through my legs,

preventing my stride.

almost tripping me up,

to be ignored – she can’t abide.


She’s now been fed and watered,

and due her next five hour nap.

I don’t think in her lifetime,

she will ever jump on my lap.


But she is coming round slowly,

with a more confident view.

And now seems ready to move on,

from the heartache, she once knew.



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