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April 28, 2017

 

 

Silver Service

out on view.

A luscious bite

with every chew.

 

A stolen spoonful

is pure delight!

whilst a finger full

dulls appetite.

 

And eyes said it all

without words spoken,

as silence fell

and hearts were broken,

 

as elbows rested

on the table,

and mouths wide open

saw teeth unstable,

 

when just by chance,

a random satellite

dropped by and set

the world alight,

 

and a candle that,

by force was blown,

created havoc –

rude words were sworn.

 

as whitest linen

set alight,

and napkins waved

in mid flight.

 

For Silver Service

out on view,

meant nothing to

the thousands who,

 

had gate-crashed there

from near and far,

to witness Edgar’s

last hur-rah.

 

And Sheffield’s finest

turned to rust,

now finger bowls –

a daily must.

 

And fish forks now

deemed out of date,

were seen stabbing pickles –

in a way most inappropriate!

 

And clamps for crabs

and winkle pickers,

replaced with fingers

by nose pickers.

 

And burps were heard

as tummies rumbled,

and chairs fell backwards

as folks tumbled.

 

And bread rolls pocketed

by the meanest,

as Daisy’s pants revealed –

and not the cleanest!

 

And around the room

the satellite still spun –

some guests too full

to move and run,

 

sat there in horror

fighting over clotted cream

dripping from a jug –

desert, now just a dream.

 

Until old Edgar’s mates,

quickly withdrew,

returning to the pub

and the life they knew,

 

where pork scratchings

were devoured;

cometh the men –

all action powered.

 

While ladies threw china

against the wall,

as Edgar’s wife – a dishwasher,

refused to install.

 

Now Edgar’s Retirement

a thing of the past,

But by God he had a good un

that went off with a Blast.   

 

 

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February 27, 2017

 

 

He stood her up.

He stole her pride.

He sent her on

a wild goose ride,

 

to nowhere that

she’d ever been –

If he’d just said

‘He wasn’t keen’!

 

He stood her up.

she waited long,

Listening to repeats

of that same song,

 

Inside the doorway

of The Robin Hood.

Gently simmering

for his blood.

 

He stood her up,

so long ago.

Never could she let

the moment go.

 

For over an hour

she loitered there

With a sinking feeling

of despair.

 

He stood her up

on the first date,

as guys came and went,

and thought her bait!

 

And she, naïve –

a cold & wet young teen,

as the Juke Box belted out

Yellow bloody Submarine!

 

He stood her up –

‘A promise counts for nowt’,

She thought as the wind

blew her brolly inside out,

 

as the heavens again opened,

with not a rat in sight,

as she trundled home, bedraggled

on that wasted night.  

 

 

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Ingrained from birth –

encouragement gone bonkers.

Hopes and advice to where

the future could lead.

 

Ingrained from birth

to be like someone,

a model, a standard,

a force to succeed.

 

Ingrained from birth,

into brain cells cemented –

a carbon copy, a cloned image –

Lord, let uniqueness be freed.

 

 

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October 30, 2016

 

 

The truth of the matter,

when coconuts fall –

if you’re stood underneath,

then no life to recall.

 

 

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August 31, 2016

 

 

 

More sorrow than there’d ever been,

losing one who loved a Gypsy Cream,

or Jammie Dodger if all else failed –

when the tin empty, how she wailed.

 

Such agony from a grumbling gut –

Oh how she loved a Ginger Nut,

or a Fig Roll, or perhaps Rich Tea.

A crumb of comfort all, that’s left of she.

 

 

 

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June 8, 2016

 

 

As easy as that, they robbed him;

just took him for all he was worth.

Two urchin girls with the giggles,

destined to be thieves from birth.

 

A willing recipient he was,

flinging his arms in the air.

Flattered by so much attention,

as he strode through St Marks Square.

 

The rascals ran off – job accomplished;

an easy start to their day.

Cash expertly extracted,

before the wallet thrown away.

 

Percoughalees was really frustrated;

his plane due in under an hour.

He knew Mendotta would be onboard;

the chance to see her, now turning sour.

 

 

 

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April 14, 2016

 

 

A hundred versions

of one person,

incredulously,

rolled into one.

 

Some laughable

beyond imagination.

Exaggeration expressed,

to cause sensation,

 

and gather momentum

with each telling,

as if a script

for Aaron Spelling.

 

A hundred versions

of one person,

coming to light

now they are gone.

 

Rumours and lies

and much mischief,

will likely,

always follow grief,

 

and gather moss

where corpse now dwelling.

The truth, the truth,

only Pentothal telling.

 

 

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Four hundred years

since he left this earth.

Yet this gift so tacky,

and of little worth.

 

And not in keeping

with what he was about.

Purists of his word,

now scream and shout.

 

Leaving little doubt

how they do feel,

at the thought of his skyline,

with a Ferris wheel.

 

 

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March 29, 2016

 

 

Such a surge of joy

when going places.

Fingers fighting

to tie shoe laces.

 

Such a sigh of relief

when homeward bound.

Now shoes kicked off

and slippers found.

 

 

 

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March 27, 2016

 

 

How alarming to see the seam

of a lampshade burning bright.

Oh, the urge to turn it around,

until the seam out of sight.

 

How ridiculous to pick up litter

whilst walking along the street.

When behind you a million items

discarded at people’s feet. 

 

How unsettling to see out of place,

that which should be stood in line.

How damned annoying to feel so critical,

when OCD enters your world and mine.

 

 

 

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