November 21, 2012

 

 

There she goes clinking her clangers,

thinking ‘good luck’ they’ll bring.

Never one to walk under a ladder,

or cross the path of a crow on the wing.

 

 

November 19, 2012

 

 

For a week, try not to speak.

Don’t interrupt or intervene.

Bite your tongue, for however long,

it takes to avoid a scene.

 

Go to ground, shun all around,

who don’t follow your point of view.

If they get on your wick, don’t even nit-pick,

just walk away and sit on the loo.

 

 

November 6, 2012

 

 

I asked her if she’d ever

‘googled herself’,

and she replied ‘Only when

your Grandad was away in

Africa during the war’.

 

 

 

November 3, 2012

 

 

 

 

He wouldn’t go to funerals

because cemeteries gave him the creeps

and the thought of a crematorium

made his hair fall out in heaps.

 

 

 

 

 

Like tea and butter,

and prawns and jam,

they blended together,

like chocolate and ham.

 

 

 

 

Let’s get toffed up

and paint the town,

and not spend all day

in our dressing gown.

 

 

October 31, 2012

 

 

‘Amazing’ is such an overused word.

‘A thousand per cent’ is a nonsensical figure.

From now on I prefer to use simply ‘wow’,

even though that is hardly de rigueur.

 

 

October 24, 2012

 

 

She always said that some jiggery-pokery

went on there, and that things weren’t as they

appeared, and whenever she had to go passed

that place, she felt a shiver as she neared!

 

 

 

 

It was advertised as having an inglenook,

and original features from long ago, and

a kitchen resplendent with an aga,

(and an old boiler about to blow).

 

October 11, 2012

 

 

Sitting them all in front of needle-less

sewing machines

is enough to make anyone think they are

losing the plot?

 

 

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