June 8, 2012

We daren’t sit Joe

next to Auntie Flo.

She does his ‘head in’.

He’ll get drunk, you know!

 

And we can’t sit Lynda

next to cousin Pete.

They once had a fling,

and might still be on heat

 

And we mustn’t let Stella know

that Wilbur’s been invited.

They haven’t spoken since Uncle Martin

was unexpectantly knighted!

 

Auntie Minnie once hit Fanny

over the head.

So we’ll keep them well apart

or it’ll upset dear old Fred.

 

Stanley will not come,

though he might drop Nellie off.

He never did like our lot

and he has a bronchial cough

 

I know darling dearest

that this is our day.

But we have to invite my family,

come what may.

 

Grandma James, as you know,

is a bit of a prude?

She doesn’t like swear words

or anything rude.

 

So tell your best man

to tone down his act

Or out of her will, you will be,

that’s a fact!

 

 We have to invite Dads

second cousin Maude,

and her idle husband,

they call ‘Shiftless Claude’.

 

But we’ll keep them far away

from Jenny and Larry.

Who still live ‘in sin’

and choose not to marry.

 

We must make sure Uncle Bert

is at the end of a table.

Or he’ll ‘touch up’ young ladies

and infuriate Mabel.

 

Uncle Giles is getting old now,

but he’s still bringing Auntie Pru.

So best sit them near an exit,

as they always needs the loo.

 

All this must seem a nightmare

right now, for you, I know.

But me marrying you at all,

to my parents, is a blow?

 

It’s not that they don’t like you

They just prefer my ex!

I don’t suppose that you’d consider

inviting poor old Rex?

 

Well, that’s my side sorted,

and we’re up to seventy three.

So keep your numbers to a minimum,

or a riot there will be.

 

 

 

June 7, 2012

 

 

I might be eighty five my child,

but in my heart I’m still twenty one.

It’s just my body that’s deteriorating,

as the years tick swiftly on.

 

 

 

June 6, 2012

 

 

He couldn’t see the wood for the trees,

he’d got in far too deep.

His life had become a jungle,

and at times he would sit and weep.

 

He couldn’t break from the monotony.

He was on a conveyor belt.

His ambitions had long since left him.

All he had was the hand life had dealt.

 

His family took him for granted

And swallowed up all he could earn.

He even contemplated suicide,

He didn’t know which way to turn.

 

In the end, one day he just walked off,

Sometime in the middle of May.

He took on a new identity,

and found a new life, far away.

 

 

 

 

That pot of gold

looks oh, so near.

But they don’t go in hospital

to die now – no fear!

 

Don’t count your chickens

until they are here.

She might have left it

to the Dogs Home, Dear!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The total complexity of marriage.

The unseen shackles that bind.

A lifetime sentence, after vows are exchanged,

We must be out of our minds!

 

 

May 29, 2012

 

 

Nastiness forgotten.

Harmony restored.

The row that just erupted,

Is of no importance,

and best ignored.

 

 

 

 

Forgive me darling

for not being perfect.

I’m only human,

after all.

I try to attend to

your every need.

But off my pedestal,

sometimes, I fall.

 

 

 

 

He turned to me in bed today,

and said those three little words

that he says every weekend,

whatever the weather, come what may.

Even before I’d opened my eyes

I could feel his intense glance.

‘Got any bacon?’ he uttered,

as I came out of my sleeping trance.

 

 

May 28, 2012

 

 

When it comes to chairs, he’s sat in them all,

Even the one in the corner, against the wall.

 

He doesn’t like the one nearest to the telly,

It gives him cramp and his foot turns to jelly.

 

The one in the window really cricks his neck

And when he stands up he shouts ‘Oh Heck’

 

Even on the sofa he has some moans,

As it wasn’t made for his tired old bones.

 

He’s tried the rocker, by the back the door.

But he fell asleep and slid onto the floor.

 

The old recliner, has safety wings,

But this plays havoc with his private ‘things’

 

The dining chair he finds too erect,

One hasn’t been made that he finds perfect

 

Every time he sits down to read the paper,

He springs up again, two seconds later.

 

This chair tester baffles his wife, it’s true,

That’s why she’s bought a tube of super glue.

 

 

 

 

 

The pain will never go away,

But his memory we still hold dear.

And when we pause to think of him,

He seems so very near.

 

It was a joy to know him,

Though briefly, he did stay.

He’s still a part of our family,

And will always remain that way.

 

His smile was easy – I can see it now,

So clear, in my minds eye.

I live each day with one regret,

That we never said Goodbye.

 

 

 

 

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