March 14, 2013

 

 

We once came down Prettywood Hill,

with our parents in their Morris Eight,

when a tyre rolled by in front of us,

making us brake to keep the car straight.

 

‘Some poor bugger’s lost a tyre’, Dad said,

as our car swerved this way and that,

before suddenly tipping up on one side, 

when in a ‘three wheeler’, we knew we were sat!

 

 

 

March 6, 2013

 

 

Mother’s Day comes around so fast,

reminding us all, it’s time

to get in touch and say ’Hello’ and

send a card with a suitable rhyme.

 

If only Mum knew how busy I am?

The computers crashed today, and

I had to work through my lunch break

as the year-end is up in May.

 

I pulled in at the ‘Services’,

to get some petrol and grab a card,

but the verses were all too sloppy

and I really looked ever so hard.

 

Just as I was giving up

I spotted one with a dog that would fit,

though the words inside were negligible.

She’d say that my partner had chosen it!

 

But I had to get it anyway,

as it was a last minute bid!

It was too late for choc’s and flowers

so I put in twenty quid.

 

I dashed out to the post van,

that from nowhere had appeared.

‘This card can’t go in here’ said the man

as we both now, at it peered.

 

‘It needs a first class stamp on it,

if you want it to get there on time’

I swear for just a second, I was

nearly hung for committing a crime.

 

‘But seeing as how it’s for Mother’s Day,

if you give me the value of the stamp,

I’ll see as it’s put in the sack with the rest

when I get back to camp’.

 

 

 

 

 

She thought she was a sex bomb.

She thought she had it all.

Trouble was, her hips were far too wide,

and her tits were far too small.

 

She thought she was a corker,

She thought she had it made.

Trouble was, she looked like Joan of Arc,

when dragged through some crusade.

 

She thought she was a pin-up,

She thought that men did swoon.

Trouble was, her three-some fantasy,

wouldn’t have attracted an entire

Platoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wearing a face-shadowing black fedora,

Percoughalees was wheeled in through

the airport doors, where he immediately

spotted Brubellgot stepping out of the

lift from the private staff stores

 

He was accompanied by Nodsincquento,

his co-pilot for the night flight,  

both just having arrived on duty, and

making Percoughalees smile with delight.

 

Being injured was to prove adventageous,          

as, after handing over his boarding pass,

Percoughalees was immediately prioritised,

only to find himself sat in First Class!

 

The upgrade was quite unexpected,

but he kept silent and went with the flow.

And oh, how his heartbeat raced, when he

saw Mendotta walk across the apron, below.

 

Having his foot in plaster had its uses,

he later, cunningly began to think,

as he snuggled down under his blanket, after

spying Mendotta, sensuously sipping her drink!

 

 

 

 

 

She cried ‘Not me’,

‘No, t’is not I,

who caused you grief

or spiked your eye’.

 

‘Please take this olive

branch from the tree,

I lie, I do,

You are right

It was me’.

 

 

 

 

He needed her now he was stuck in his chair,

with only his zimmer to go anywhere –

Well about time too.

 

He wanted her now he was so house-bound,

with only Jack and Billy coming around –

Well about time too.

 

He loved her now that the others were dead,

and she was the only one left in his bed –

Well about time too.

 

He knew why now she felt bitter and twisted,

When to that damned club he had enlisted.–

Well about time too.

 

Halleluiah

 

 

 

 

So that’s it then, the end of an era,

all finished, there’s no going back.

Seconds from now he’ll turn and leave,

becoming the saddest joker in the pack.

 

What they had, they knew, was priceless.

A chance meeting and then he moved in.

The house for a while rang with laughter,

but time now, to take defeat on the chin.

 

They both gave it full-on commitment,

and for a time lived out their dream.

Nothing could ever compare to it,

but it’s over, and now tears stream.

 

Parting is such agonising sorrow, and never

more so than when it’s the end of the line.

Their paths mustn’t ever cross again, so

at each other they look, for the very last time.

 

 

February 26, 2013

 

 

It began as no more than an inkling,

a co-incidence, a random chance, but

then it started to occur more regularly,

and at each other, they all would glance.

 

The changes had been disguised subtly,

and slipped in, so as not to be seen,

and then others recognised the similarities,

commenting on what they saw on screen!

 

Each line copied was being recorded,

which the thieves clearly failed to see,

and with evidence mounting daily,

a clear cut case this was going to be.

 

 

 

February 24, 2013

 

 

The strongest won’t sustain his strength.

The wildest, will in time, mellow.

The self obsessive will be made to share,

and the loud mouth, no longer bellow.

 

The nit picker will drive himself bonkers.

The squabbler will lose his objective mind.

The one with the fierce, competitive streak,

will become last, off the starting line.

 

The hunter will find himself incarcerated.

The rambler will lose all sense of direction.

The romeo will become a father, and wish

to God, he had used some protection.

 

 

 

 

 

What bitter sweet experience

it is to feed the birds, for I love

the swans the best, and for others,

have rather rude words.

 

I arrived with loaves of bread, that in

truth, do total many, but returned home

feeling saddened, thinking of that one

cygnet, who didn’t get any.

 

Out of nowhere the swans were joined by

ducks with beaks that plucked like tweezers,

and those dreaded Canadian geese arrived,

without passports or up to date visa’s

 

The law of the ‘fastest and the fittest’,

exists in the calm of the picturesque river,

and that vulnerable cygnet preys on my mind,

until I can return and to her, deliver.

 

 

 

 

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