June 27, 2012

 

 

 

He’s nothing but a villain, Ref.

His attitude’s all wrong.

In the air he’s just plain physical,

and his ‘throw in’s‘ take too long

 

 

 

 

 

He’s on the ‘Physio’s bed again.

This time he’s pulled a tendon.

He’s been injury prone throughout his career

and not a player to depend on

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three away points

will seal the day,

and keep us on track

for promotion in May.

 

 

April 17, 2012

 

 

Like dumbstruck dudes we stood and watched

Our team coach pull away

Then slunk back to our waiting cars

And headed towards the motorway

 

The long ride home would seem longer still

We felt as sick as hell

Our side had lost another ‘dead cert’

Though our top player did quite well.

 

But a one man team, without support

Is not the key to success.

So we’ll struggle on as best we can

As our finances are in a mess.

 

The ‘transfer deadline’ came and went

As all hope of fresh faces faded.

If we lose next week to the bottom club

I feel our pitch will be invaded!

 

It’s not a joke, it’s just not on.

We scrimp and save all season.

So it’s no wonder we feel gutted

When we lose without good reason

 

To sack the manager would cost good money

That the club truly hasn’t got.

So with a golden handshake out of the question

Our season’s not looking too hot.

 

The thrill of being in the top flight

Has been short lived, to say the least.

We need to win our next ten games

And turn this goal famine into a feast.

 

 

 

 

 

April 12, 2012

 

 

What a blunder

What a joke

He gave him the elbow

With a blatant poke

 

That deserves a yellow card!

 

What an obstruction

What a laugh

The Ref clearly missed

What was an obvious gaf

 

That deserves a yellow card!

 

What a fraudster

What a cheat

That stupid error

Will cost us a clean sheet

 

Through another missed yellow card!

 

What a stinker

What a mess

A silly ‘own goal’

Causing more distress

 

And where was the yellow card?

 

What an ending

What a bind

The bloody referee

Must be totally blind

 

And he’s never heard of a yellow card!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tell them I’ve made the reserve team

It sounds better than saying I’m a ‘Colt’

Tell them that I’ve been ‘commended’

And I gave the away side a jolt.

Tell them that at the Academy

I came out ‘top of the tree’

And all the scouts from the premiership

In a few years will be after me.

Tell them that I scored a great goal

Whilst going on to make another two

Tell them I’ve been told that I’m gifted

And can sub for the first team – it’s true.

Tell them my dream isn’t over

Though in my heart I know better

It seems I’m not good enough to make it

Least, that’s what it says in this letter!

 

But I will prove them wrong

And make it, in this game.

I’m not finished yet

So watch out for my name

 

 

 

 

 

 

His tackles were awesome

His ‘set pieces’ a joy

His shooting was accurate

The opposition he’d destroy

He commanded the field

He rarely sat on the bench

But his downfall was booze

And the odd lively wench

 

 

 

 

I didn’t tug his shirt Ref

I didn’t pull his arm

I didn’t grab him round the neck

I promise I kept calm

 

I didn’t trip him up Ref

I didn’t thump him hard

I didn’t think I’d fouled him

Though you showed a yellow card

            

I didn’t put the boot in Ref

I didn’t touch him, by a yard

I didn’t cause that nasty tackle

Though you flashed another card

 

I didn’t want an early bath Ref

I didn’t want to go off in disgrace

I didn’t want to let the side down

I didn’t want to lose my place.

 

 

 

 

 

The weather at Ascot had been mixed all week

And Ladies Day was no exception.

So they felt lucky to land a sunny Friday

For the traditional yearly reception.

 

The Ladies looked swell and were in good spirits

And they got some advice on studying form

From the help of a professional tipster,

Who really went down a storm.

 

The canapés arrived and the Champagne flowed

And then they all sat down to eat.

The cheese arrived at the same time as The Queen

So they all quickly leapt to their feet.

 

The excitement grew as the first race neared

And they felt sure that they’d picked a winner!

But alas, an outsider flew past the post

Making their wallets just that little bit thinner.

 

With Placepots down the drain

They quickly moved  to the next race of the day.

Some vanished to the Tote,  to make serious bets

Fighting through the crowds on their way.

 

The Queen didn’t get a chance to pop across

And chat to them over afternoon tea

But they knew she was tied up in the Royal Box

So they just had to let things be.

 

As the last race neared, it was a chance to recoup

Some of the money that had been lost.

But being a ‘Bumper’ – a donkey won

And they all shook their heads to their cost.

 

Then all too soon it was over

Leaving them feeling a little bit sad

As they gathered to say their goodbyes

And hoped that the traffic wasn’t bad.

 

 

March 20, 2012

 

 

The game was over

Without delay.

Chances were missed

Goals went astray

When just one more

Would have won the day

It all came down

To toil and sweat

A long hard season

But let’s not forget

That we’re in the ‘Play-off’

And hope still reigns

The double header still remains

Though we look no further

At this stage

Let’s not tempt fate

That mighty Sage

Who holds our future

Who unfolds each page

If we miss out now

We’ll be filled with rage

In extra time, we stood alone

When the final whistle

Too soon was blown

Losing vital minutes

That contentious bone

A top three place could

Have been our own.

 

 

« Older Posts — Newer Posts »