April 17, 2012

 

 

They’re much more faithful than a human

And they never answers back

They are loyal and true and loving

Even when they get a whack

 

The never will betray us

No matter what we do

And when they see we’re sad

They will also feel quite blue

 

They rely on us for food

And also walks as well

We can disclose all our secrets

For they will never tell

 

Although they’re often know

As being ‘man’s best friend

I’d say they are the only ones

On whom we can depend.

 

 

 

 

Like dumbstruck dudes we stood and watched

Our team coach pull away

Then slunk back to our waiting cars

And headed towards the motorway

 

The long ride home would seem longer still

We felt as sick as hell

Our side had lost another ‘dead cert’

Though our top player did quite well.

 

But a one man team, without support

Is not the key to success.

So we’ll struggle on as best we can

As our finances are in a mess.

 

The ‘transfer deadline’ came and went

As all hope of fresh faces faded.

If we lose next week to the bottom club

I feel our pitch will be invaded!

 

It’s not a joke, it’s just not on.

We scrimp and save all season.

So it’s no wonder we feel gutted

When we lose without good reason

 

To sack the manager would cost good money

That the club truly hasn’t got.

So with a golden handshake out of the question

Our season’s not looking too hot.

 

The thrill of being in the top flight

Has been short lived, to say the least.

We need to win our next ten games

And turn this goal famine into a feast.

 

 

 

 

 

April 15, 2012

 

 

The reformed persona

of a wayward soul,

constantly reaching inwardly

to draw strength anew.

One minute at a time.

One day at a time.

And always with the knowledge

that devastation is nearby

and anarchy, at any second,

could kick in

 

 

 

 

Custard pants is coming

Swaggering along the prom

With one hand in his pocket

He struts with such aplomb

 

 

April 13, 2012

 

 

So ultra modern

The latest ‘must have’

The chicest of chic

The ‘tarted up’ lav.

 

Solid gold fixtures

Bum warming seat

Touch finger flusher

So very discreet.

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t even flutter an eyelash

Let the double entendres pass by

Don’t let him get his leg over

Don’t act all demure and shy

 

Don’t show a hint of recognition

Let the attention go over your head

Don’t be another notch on his belt

Don’t ever enter his bed

 

 

 

 

If we split them up

And go for a walk

It’ll be easier for you

To get him to talk

 

He’ll reveal their business

He’ll spill the beans

Not that I’m nosey

By any means

 

It’s just that she

Is harder to read

And cleverly avoids

The questions I feed

 

So buy him a beer

To relax his tongue

And he’ll sing like a canary

Before too long.

 

 

 

 

Keep your knees together love

And straighten up your spine

And put a smile upon your face

Oh, and lower that hemline.

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately she has

To accept he’s right

So it’s humble pie for tea

And down on one knee tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

Unburden your troubles onto your mother

Tell her each detail of your dismay

And how you are the injured party

And how unfairly you were treated today

 

Reveal your anxiety to your mother

Tell her each word that at you was spat

And how you are the innocent victim

And how injustice has made you feel flat

 

Then end your chat with your mother

Tell her goodbye and go on your way

Feeling refreshed and invigorated

Whilst she’s left worried sick

For the rest of the day

 

 

« Older Posts — Newer Posts »