August 30, 2012

 

 

 

 

In principle, I suppose it has merit,

though it’s a little far off the mark.

To be honest, it’s a load of rubbish.

It’s souless and lacks any spark.

 

 

 

 

During it’s successful working life,

hair reaches to the top of the head,

but later, a cosier setting is sought,

nestling in ears and nostrils instead.

 

 

 

 

 

Her faithful sheepdog, Bongo

loved to carry tins home from the shop.

But as the weight became heavier,

into the bushes, the tin he would drop.

 

To his mistress this went unnoticed,

until at her gate she arrived displeased,

as neighbours said ‘Bongo’s mum is back,

she’s lost another tin of peas’

 

 

August 29, 2012

 

 

It’s the way you pull the udders

that gets the milk flowing free.

We’re fighting for our survival.

Here, pass the bucket to me.

 

Every drop of this is priceless.

‘Dairy farming’ is in our genes.

If this lot all collapses,

we’ll have to grow peas and beans!

 

 

 

 

What happened to those long hot

summer days, when we sat around

making daisy chains and looking for

four leaved clovers, before making

our way back home under the seven

arches, without a cloud in the sky to

dampen our spirits, or the sound of any

motorway to disturb our simple joy?

 

 

 

 

 

He used to say he smiled inwardly,

with his face never moving a muscle.

A more boring man there never was,

than Ernest Arbuckle Russell

 

 

 

 

 

A town that I’d never thought twice about,

has come into orbit of late.

Connecting extended tentacles and

proving that it’s never too late.

 

 

 

 

What the butler saw,

to the Press he went to sell.

They crossed his palms with gold,

but his life became pure hell.

 

What the butler saw,

he no more lived to tell.

They pensioned him off with haste,

when, from grace, he fell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I could swim

I’d go to him,

but the water’s far too deep.

 

So instead I’ll fly

through a cloudy sky,

and thereby my sanity keep.

 

 

 

 

 

In an argument that she was losing,

she would give me a ‘certain’ look,  saying

‘If you think that you have all the answers,

you should go and write a ruddy book’

 

 

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