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February 19, 2014



If all the phrases were mixed together;

like the ones’ Confucius said.

with all the rants that the barm-pots wrote

when they were out of their head.


Then simmered gently in a ‘time’ machine

until each sentence was boiling hot,

making the dots and dashes disappear,

and each question mark be forgot.


And if all the sonnets that Shakespeare wrote

were melted into the work of  Mark Twain,

and in the nick of time E A P’s Raven appeared,

sending the vegetarians insane.


And if Wordsworth’s daffy’s became lavender,

making the concoction a little less bland

It would be a brave man who would argue when,

Burns insisted his haggis, still had to stand.


And what if the words of Larkin

dissolved into the work of romantic Brooke?

The mixture would become a bigger fuck up,

and a totally indigestible puke!


And what if all the conjunctions evaporated

causing the semi-colons to go and take a hop,

before knocking themselves into unconsciousness

after colliding with a determined full stop.


And if Grimms tales melted with Andersons

in order to form a fairy-like crust.

Up again would pop a question mark

in a sugar-free tantrum of disgust.


The job too big in the end, it was decided,

just to tackle the grammar alone.

To each his own are words, some of wisdom,

and all are welcome to moan and groan.






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